still concerned...

Layton's having a hard time going to Mrs. Joyce's house. He's been very clingy and hasn't wanted me to leave him. This morning Mrs. Joyce said she thinks he's having a harder time with Konner not being there than we thought. Konner was his only same-age playmate. There are two boys a year older than him that will start kindergarten next year, but they're the big boys now and don't really want to play with Layton. Then there is one boy that will start the year after Layton that he plays OK with, but that little boy is more like Ainslee's age. Mrs. Joyce usually takes into consideration the ages of her kids when she's deciding which new ones she's going to take and which ones she's not. Layton and Konner were paired as playmates long before they were actually friends. So he's having a hard time finding a new play mate. I think he's stuck in the middle right now. Y'all pray for him. He needs a friend.

I feel better about how Layton is handling losing Konner. Yesterday I was worried because he didn't want to talk about it and didn't have any questions; usually he asks a million questions even if he already knows the answers! Tonight, though, when we were about to say our prayer, he stopped me and said, "Mama, we don't have to pray for Konner anymore; he's all better now."

Then tonight he asked how Konner got in the boat. Puzzled? Yeah I was too. I asked him what boat, and he said with Jesus and God. I told him that Jesus and God weren't in a boat, and he got very defensive and said yes they were too; then he showed me his bible that showed Noah's ark and told me they were on that boat. So we got into a huge discussion about Noah and the ark and then found a page of what I felt best represented heaven, and he settled on Konner being there.

I feel sad tonight. Layton's friend, Konner, passed away this evening. If you don't already know, he is a three year old little boy that stays with the same babysitter as Layton. He suffered a TBI. My sister called me while we were eating dinner; we had already prayed for Konner like we always do. She actually called during the prayer so I had to call her back. I went ahead and told Layton. Yesterday Layton had asked me where Jesus is, and I told him that he was in heaven with God and explained in 3 year old terms that heaven is in the sky above the clouds and that we can't see Jesus or God but that they're always there. So tonight I just told Layton that Konner went to live with Jesus and God in heaven. He asked if when he woke up (he had been in a coma and we had been praying for Konner to wake up then switched to praying that he would get better), he could come play at Mrs. Joyce's house. I told him that he wasn't going to wake up, that he was just going to go to heaven with Jesus and God. Layton kind of stared at me for a minute and then said he didn't want to talk about that anymore. So we didn't.

I don't really know what he thinks about it. I wondered if it was too much for his little mind to grasp so he just didn't want to think about it or if he wanted to think about and talk about it later. I'm not going to push him. He's never been shy about asking questions so I know if he has any, he'll ask. I think that kids have a better way of dealing with some things; sometimes they can see the big picture better than we can.

Layton's prayed this entire time. I don't know how to say this without it sounding like I'm thinking that God didn't answer our prayers; I know He hears our prayers and answers them according to His plan and that we don't always get the answer that we wanted, but I just never imagined that Layton's prayer, a prayer offered by an innocent three year old, wouldn't be answered just the way we expected. He's prayed that Konner would get better so he could come play with him at Mrs. Joyce's house; that's what he's said every single time. Well he won't be coming to Mrs. Joyce's house, but he is better.

Fear of Dogs

Almost everyone that's been around Layton for more than say...2 minutes knows that he is very afraid of dogs. I don't know what to do about this, but it's getting pretty ridiculous! Everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, we go Layton asks about a million times if there's going to be a dog there. Church, Wal-Mart, friends' houses, outside, anywhere! Today we went to a birthday party, and I couldn't tell him for sure if there was a dog or not, and he came as close to a panic attack as I have ever seen him. As we were getting closer to the house, he told me I was driving too fast, that he needed to use the bathroom, that he wanted to go home, that the little boy was mean to him; he was trying whatever he could think of to get me to turn around. When we got there the little boy's mom was standing outside, and I asked her if they had a dog, and she said no. You would think that would be the end of it, but no. He still stuck right by my side for the beginning of the pary until he was fairly certain there was definitely not a dog in the house. We also think that's why he won't sleep in his bed. He says that there's a dog. I guess he could have heard a dog bark outside sometime; I'm not sure. I really think his fear is getting worse. I know there's no reasoning with him. He can even self-talk and convince himself that he likes dogs; he's done that with my sister's dog. He'll tell himself that Luke's nice and a good dog and won't hurt him, but then when we pull in my sister's driveway, he goes crazy and we have to carry him in the house. He can't play outside over there even though they have an awesome swingset and a good driveway for bike-riding. He won't play outside over here because he thinks a dog might come up. We have to force him to go outside and play, and then we usually just end up getting on to him the whole time because he's glued to our legs. I have no idea what to do. I don't want this fear to get in the way of him enjoying his childhood. There are going to be dogs around. They will be at the park, at ballgames, at my sister's house, at our friends' houses. He's going to have to learn to cope. But on the other hand, I know this fear! I had it too when I was little. I actually saw my friend get attacked by a dog. I'm still not comfortable around dogs, or any animal for that matter, but I don't crawl up whoever is standing next to me to get away from them. My parents got a dog for me to help me with my fear. That didn't really help. I wasn't afraid of my dog, but I was still afraid of all other dogs. I'm at a loss.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Ava "crawling"

Ava can finally get where she's wanting to go! Here's a video of how!

Ferber continued

Well I told you I wouldn't post everyday, and I stuck to my word! I didn't put anything yesterday, but let me just say that the last two nights have been blissful for Ava! She has slept beautifully! And my friend Sara told me that they started the Ferber method with her son Tad, and he is also sleeping well! Yay Tad!

Now if we could just get the older two sleeping, we'd be all set! Ainslee's paci is about to get thrown out of the window! The last few nights she's woken up a couple of times crying because it's fallen out of her mouth, and she can't find it! She used to be such a good sleeper! What's happened!?! Maybe she's teething. I use that excuse for everything!

Layton still comes in our room around 2:30 or so, and he sleeps on a pallet. I guess that could be worse! Well I know it could be because he used to sleep in our bed! Our next mission is to get them to sleep in their beds all night. I have no idea how to accomplish that! Suggestions welcome!

Night 3

I promise I won't post every day about how Ava slept the night before; maybe just a few more nights until she's good and acclamated to going to sleep by herself.

Last night started out much like night 2. She went to sleep fine; woke up about 8:15; played for a little while; went back to bed fine. Then she started crying at about 10:15. We didn't really know what to do because we didn't know how long to let her cry before going in to console her. We only waited five minutes because I thought she might need a diaper change. She didn't, so we went in again after 10 minutes. When nearly 15 more minutes had passed, I started to cave. I actually sent Trey in to get her to rock her. Luckily, she fell asleep before he got to her door! I know it's good for her to be able to get herself to sleep, but it's just so hard to listen to her cry!

Night 2

I am so proud of Ava. She is such a fast-learner! At about 6:30 she started showing signs of being tired so we gave her a bath, fed her, etc and put her down at about 6:50. She went right to sleep! No crying whatsoever! She woke up, though, at about 8:15. We didn't really know what to do, but we thought since she went to bed so early, it would probably be okay to let her play for a little bit. She played until about 8:45 and started acting tired again. At that point we decided to redo the entire bedtime routine minus the bath. I offered her another bottle (which she refused), read her another book, sang another song, and said another prayer. I laid her down again, and wal-lah no crying! She's sound asleep right now! I can't believe it! I'm keeping my fingers crossd that she sleeps all night again!

Day after night 1 of Ferber method

After many, many nights of fighting Ava to sleep (rocking her, putting her down, her waking up, rerocking her, putting her down, her waking up...), we have decided that it's time to enlist the Ferber method. We used this method on both of our other kids (although with Layton we used our own version because we were not educated in the ways of Ferber), and it worked for them. It's very difficult, and I look at it as a last resort. Using it does mean that you'll have to listen to your child cry, for often lengthy periods of time at first.

We decided that our night time routine, which is KEY with Ferber, would be modeled after the routines that we used for the other two kids. At the first sign of sleepiness, we jump into full bedtime routine mode. She gets a bath, a nice rub down with lotion, a bottle, a book, a song, a prayer, and then we lay her down. The whole account takes about 30 minutes.

Then she cries. And cries. And cries. She cried for about an hour and 15 minutes last night. We laid her down at 7:00. After 5 minutes, I went in to comfort her, careful not to touch or pick her up, even though I so badly wanted to. Then after 10 minutes, Trey went in. Then 15 minutes, and I went in. And so on. Finally at about 8:05, we only heard a small wimper, and by 8:15 she was asleep. She slept until about 6:45 this morning.

That hour and 15 minutes was brutal. However it was nice to have the next two hours. Usually we're rocking her until about 10:30 or 11:00, which means that the rest of the house has to be absolutely quiet: no dishes can be done, no laundry, etc. for fear that she'll wake up.

Tonight will be night number two. The first cry period will last 10 minutes, and the second 15. Wish us luck!

Our nighttime woes...

My sister and I have similar woes; our boys won't sleep in their own beds. She came up with the idea that if Tyler slept in his own bed all night, she would buy him a new transformer. He made it and got his transformer. When Layton found out, he asked if I would buy him a transformer if he slept in his bed all night. Of course, I said YES!!! So that was our mission last night. We were pumped that he would make it all night, and today we would go buy his brand new transformer. However, at about 1:30 AM, I opened my eyes to see Layton standing right there, and he whispered, "Mama, I don't want a transformer." So he slept on his pallet on our floor.

Looking forward to my birthday

I never really ask for anything for my birthday, not from Trey anyway. This year, though, I have a very specific request. I want a corner. I want a corner of the living room to be set up for me to scrapbook whenever I want without having to drag all of my stuff out! I asked for a table and chair, and he added that I might need a lamp! He has a whole month to get all this together! I am really hoping to get up-to-date!!!!